Adventure, Romance, and another Mugging!

HELLO ALL!
 
WELL- The good news is that Grettle and I have made it to ULAANBAATAR!!!!!!!

Its been 16 months, 15,000 miles and 21 countries since I left the UK last April. I can’t quite believe it, but here I am, in the capital of Mongolia (never the original plan by the by) with Grettle and the two mad Slovaks in my new home- so as you could imagine, its celebrations all round!

Mongolia was fantastic, challenging, grueling, cold, windy, wet, wild, colorful, mad, hot, chaotic, uncomfortable, beautiful, exciting and so many more conflicting and contrasting and wonderful things, its almost impossible to put into comprehensible words!

But here goes an attempt to...

First, I must take you back to Barnaul in Russia, through Siberia and over the Altai mountains....

THE CHALLENGES AT THE BORDER....

The first border gate was a little tricky; you might remember me mentioning the small issue of not having the correct importation papers for Grettle. Well, the latter came to light as soon as we reached customs control...

I find women are always the worst when put in control, especially at borders, and we were stuck with a particularly tiresome set of them- big-bottomed, heavy-bellied, boisterous, grumpy and authoritative ladies, demanding papers angrily, spectacles perched at the end of their squashy noses, and faces that looked as if they could quite possibly crack if a smile - god-forbid- was attempted!

The boys had all the right bumph (they had not been mugged of all their documents the year previously) but I sat and waited nervously as Milos was escorted to a locked room with one of the big-bottoms, and an old man was turned back to Russia due to some problem with his car papers.

Thankfully Milos could speak a little Russian and when he reappeared from the room 45 minutes later, he told me that after some persuasion, Grettle had been allowed to pass through as a glorified bicycle, and so amazingly and surprisingly, no bribery was needed and no fines were issued!

Having crossed the first gate, there was a 20 km drive through no-mans-land before reaching the second.

This border was a little more tricky still...

It became apparent that since Grettle and I would be living in Mongolia for a year or so, she needed to be temporarily imported into the country. The man in charge of importation asked me how much she was worth. I replied truthfully 700 squid. He then told me he would need proof of this in order to grant us the importation form, without which, we would be stuck in no-mans-land for the foreseeable future! He lent me his computer so that I could browse e-bay or other bike sites, and find him an image of a Grettle look-a-like worth 700 pounds.

This was obviously a big problem because dear Grettle was an extraordinarily lucky find, and all her make and model of Vespa these days are worth over 2 grand. The calculation and cost of the importation tax would be based on the value of the vehicle, and so on these grounds, if I could only find a Vespa worth 2-3 grand, i would be paying a colossal amount of tax; more so even, that G cost me in the first place, and certainly more than I had on me in no-mans-land!

I searched rather cunningly i thought for Vespas being sold in India, and managed to find one for 500 squid. I confidently showed the ad to the officer who shook his head and furrowed his brow as he noticed the indian site I had found the image from. Unfortunately, since Grettle had been purchased in the UK, he was adamant that there must be proof from an English website.

Roman came to rescue at this point in a truly inspired way, deciding that the only solution to this problem, would be to create our own Vespa advertisement on e-bay! When the officer left his office, under the impression we were still searching for proof, we took the opportunity to create one...

As you could imagine, there was an immediate flurry of interest from Vespa lovers all over the UK, who clearly thought they had come across a the deal of their dreams!

The add worked a treat! I showed it to the officer who swallowed it up without hesitation, and at the end of the day, my $350 Vespa only cost me $60 tax, which I am assured I will get back when I leave Mongolia with Grettle...all very satisfying despite taking all day at the border!

We even had time to make a brew...

By 7pm, we set off from no-mans-land, through the final set of gates, and into Mongolia!

During the first hour in the country, Roman got stuck in a river...

This was in fact highly amusing because the previous evening, he had been a little rude and ridiculing about what he thought to be, my most unorganized approach to traveling by Vespa, asking me what I would do if we came across a deep river. He rather smugly told me "you see, Milos and I are prepared for everything. This bike will get through any river up to here" he pointed at his hip. I couldn't help but remind him of this conversation as a Mongolian local ran from the road and to the rescue....

Despite the slight hold up at the river, the first few hours driving in Mongolia were spectacular, and I found myself feeling the same sensation as when I was driving over that high pass through the Pamirs last year- I felt high on the landscape, the freedom, the vast open space and the fabulous light, as the sun went down and we found a spot to camp. Sitting on the edge of a lake, I felt nothing less than joyful- it was stunning and exhilarating.

The trip through the country took 10 days- much shorter than I had expected, and there were, as you could imagine, many challenges to face along the way!

The roads turned to rubble pretty much as soon as we passed through the gates from Russia into Mongolia, and with a few odd stretches of tarmac at the beginning, it was pretty much just a series of dirt, rubble, mud and sand tracks that got us to Ulaanbaatar. Grettle faced on average one river crossing per day and performed adamantly...with of course, a bit of pushing, pulling and shoving from the boys when needed!

There were often roads being constructed tiresomely and typically right next to the horrible sand tracks we were attempting to drive on, so a lot of time was spent trying to clamber over the dunes that separated the dirt track from the lovely smooth tarmac. On one occasion, we even built a sand bridge in an attempt to get to flat ground. Take a look ...

Other than the roads, I faced a few technical  issues with little Grettle along the way...Having tackled rivers, rubble, sand dunes, washboard and mud, my back tyre lost all its air over something as silly as a speed bump!

Thankfully, due to a last minute pick up in Bishkek, I was carrying two spare tubes in case of irreparable punctures. Roman, as he so often did, came to the rescue and fitted one of the spares into the back tyre, which worked a treat and all was well once again...

Until...

one particularly hot day, on a wonderful piece of tarmac, when I heard a strange flapping noise. I looked down with horror, to see a large bulge in the rubber of Grettle's front tyre- it was a sort of inside-out puncture!

Roman looked at it amazed for a second and then in his heavy Slovak accent, told me- "wow, my father had this in the wheel of his car once- it exploded!" This highly unreassuring comment was followed by hysterical laughter; he seemed to find the thought of me flying like superwoman through the air as the tyre exploded, most amusing!

Oh hell- I thought, as we did the only thing we could, and fitted my final tube into the back tyre. Roman told me it would certainly not make it to Ulaanbaatar (still 700 km away) but shouldn't explode for another couple of hundred km!

Luckily, we must have rescued it in the nick of time; after half an hour of driving and some severe smells of burning rubber, miraculously the tyre returned to its original shape and got me all the way to UB!

The final 700 Km of driving were a little nerve-racking none-the-less; I knew I had no more chances with my tyres, no more spare tubes, and potential explosions to take place, so I found myself constantly peering over Grettle's head lamp to check my front tyre was still intact and held a normal round shape- she was positively on her last legs....

well, not quite...

The next challenge took place a couple of hundred km later, after which, she had virtually no legs at all!

Let me explain....

Milos had decided to spend a few days traveling alone and so Roman and I stuck together. There became vast open spaces with so many dirt tracks to chose from that sometimes, traveling at different speeds, the two of us would find each other on different roads, which more often than not, would lead in totally opposite directions.

It was on one of these occasions, that I noticed the small speck of Roman on his track heading further and further away from mine, and so I decided to try and cross the long grass that separated the two of us.

It was all going to plan, until a huge BANG sent Grettle and I flying through the air and into the mud. A little dizzy, Grettle lying hopelessly on her side, I got up to see what we had collided with; it was a huge boulder hidden in the long grass...

In an attempt to retrieve and re-fix the top box, petrol canister, and several items of luggage that had rocketed off as we crashed into the rock, I picked Grettle up and tried to put her on her stand.

With horror, I looked down to find it wasn't there! Well,  that's not entirely accurate, It was certainly there, but it was no longer attached to Grettle; the metal had snapped clean in two!

BOLLOCKS!

Now this is where it got challenging...Roman was god-knows how much further ahead by now, and probably thought i was ahead of him, so would not think to come back and help.

With one hand holding Grettle upright, i attempted to strap my luggage back onto her with the other. I manged to get the top box back on its clip, loosely tie the yellow bag onto it, and repaired the plastic hook in the front of my seat, in order to balance the 10 Liter petrol can back in its place, before setting off again through the long grass.

The next bump sent everything flying once again, and i realized that the plastic clip which holds my top box and in turn my large yellow bag in place, had broken; it was completely bent out of shape and had a large crack in it. With only one hand free, it was impossible to fix!

So once again, I strapped everything, as best I could onto Grettle, but with no alternative way of transporting it, I placed the large and heavy yellow box on top of my legs. This was a little tricky since the box was very big and lent heavily on my steering column, making steering, as your could imagine, virtually impossible.

I drove slowly through the field and eventually made it to a small town with a gas station. I knew Roman would be needing fuel and so I hoped that I would find him there and we could fix the problem together.

To my relief,  I spotted him at the gas station in the distance. It turned out he was having as many difficulties as me; Grettle was quite literally in pieces and Trevor had a totally flat battery!

The two of us soon saw the funny side in this and sat to have a brew or two at the gas station, before settling on a camping spot close by, working out a plan, and fixing the many broken bits and pieces.

The pic below is taken at the gas station- a wonderful set of wheels don't you think?

We used a screw and some superglue mixed with sand, to temporarily fix the plastic top box clip. It worked well for the next few hundred km, until I hit a huge pothole, going a little too fast on tarmac not far from UB, which sent it flying off into the distance once again. For the remainder of the journey it was strapped into place by several bungy cords.

The problem of Grettle's broken stand was not fixable until we came across a welding machine- basically until we reached my studio in Ulaanbaatar! So for the remainder of the trip, if i needed to stop and find something in my luggage, eat some food, or buy anything at a shop, I had to find something to lean Grettle up against. In the middle of the Mongolian steppes, this was virtually impossible, and so Romans bike became Grettle's stand. Basically i couldn't stop until he did!

But all in all, the challenges made the adventure what it was, and the whole thing was really quite fantastic; the country was spectacular, the views were stunning, the people were wonderful, the company was terrific, the light and the weather were unique, and despite the roads being absolutely catastrophic, the adventure was unforgettable!

AND THEN AT LONG LAST...GLORIOUS TARMAC AND ULAANBAATAR CITY!!!!!!

I drove the final leg of the journey to Ulaanbaatar alone, in an attempt to reach my sports teaching job on time, and so the boys arrived at my studio the following day.

As it turned out, a slight miscommunication whilst I was in the Gobi Desert meant that I in fact had no job when I arrived, which was a bit of a shock, since it then meant I was on the wrong visa, and so once again, the search has begun to find another...

We all had a super time in Ulaanbaatar, despite being mugged on night 1...

A chap barged past Roman and I on the street, grabbed both our bags and legged it! Roman ran after the mugger and I sat on the street a little confused (we were heading back home after a nights clubbing and I must admit, I was a far fling from being sober). Half an hour later, a car drove past me and flung both bags out of the window! If there is such a thing as a nice mugger, this chap was certainly it; he returned passport and cards, and took off with camera and cash. The only sadness, was the loss of roman's photos from the trip, but other than that, things could have been worse! 

Milos stayed in a guest house near by and Roman stayed in the studio. We had a super time exploring the city, haggling at the black market, playing pool, exercising our extraordinarily bad singing voices in dim-lit karaoke parlous, feasting on sumptuous cuisine and scooting merrily around the city, introducing Grettle to a few of her fans at the local haunts...

Finally, I could repay Roman for all his help during the journey when it came to the great day of fixing...
I welded the metal frame of his broken bike seat back together and tended to Grettle's broken stand at the same time, so all in all, a very successful day....

I suppose its about time to digress for a moment, and fill you in on the romance side of this story...

Going back a little and to set the scene... you might remember me explaining that one of the main reasons i decided to remain in Ulaanbaatar for another year and make this trip, instead of my original plan to drive to India, was due to a certain English accountant - Chris.

Well, in a nut shell, Chris and I broke up when I was back in Bishkek, mainly due to the fact that our very different stages of life, meant a relationship was not quite working for either of us. Although sad, I must admit, it was quite possibly the most amicable breakup that I have ever encountered, and we remain very good friends which is wonderful.

So this is where Roman comes into the equation...we met in Bishkek at the old haunt- nomads home, and it was not long before spark turned romance, and the two of us became more than friends....

As you could imagine, undertaking a trip through Mongolia with ANYONE is testing, but being lucky enough to take it on with somebody you care about and bounce off and connect with, was really something quite special. We went though an awful lot, shared some unforgettable experiences and came out of it all, closer than ever. I suppose the nice thing about traveling with anyone, is that you see the worst and the best in their nature- Roman- it has to be said- turned up trumps!

So as you could imagine, after the adventure, and 10 wonderful days in Ulaanbaatar together, goodbyes were very sad, and I am missing him a lot.

We had a lovely last day together and prepared an indoor picnic in my studio, before he set off to meet Milos for their drive to Vladivostok.

Now- perhaps something else to fill you in on briefly, is a looming idea, that has been loitering in the back of my mind for some time- the next leg of the trip- from Mongolia to the Eastern corner of Russia, to Alaska and on the bottom of south America!

As it turned out, this is also a trip that Roman had been planning to do in 5 years time. I don't know how long I will be in Ulaanbaatar, what will happen whilst I am here, and it depends very much on how the art takes off, but the exciting news is, Roman is keen to pushh his plan forward if need be, and so we might possibly undertake the next leg of this adventure together, whenever that may be....

So picnic soon turned to planning, and although sad to say goodbye- it appears to be just the beginning of something perhaps spectacularly exciting!

And so there you have it; Adventure, Romance, and another Mugging! There will be more to come on shenanigans in Ulaanbaatar, alongside a Video which i plan to create from the trip...but until then....Adios!